Day 175, Year 1

Actively Resolving Internal Contradiction

“I sleep, but my heart is awake; It is the voice of my beloved! He knocks….” (Song of Solomon 5:2a NKJV)

“I sleep, but my heart is awake.” These words indicate an unusual situation, for when she sleeps, her heart is usually asleep as well. There is an internal contradiction in her. In the same way, if you sometimes feel that you are in the midst of contradiction, be assured that God understands you. Some believers face a similar dilemma when deciding whether to open the doors of their hearts to Jesus or not. They may long to welcome Him, but feel so powerless to do so. Or, when they hear Jesus’ voice, their heart yearns to respond, but they struggle to open the door.

Here, I would like to revisit the earlier discussion on choosing life. Many people want to choose life, but some of their actions do not follow through. This is indeed the dilemma of their lives. Whether it is doubts about their own abilities or choices, or being bound by external factors or those around them, they do find it difficult to open their doors for Jesus. To truly want to choose life and open the door for Him, some people must first resolve their internal contradictions. For example, some of them have grand ideals or goals, and they are willing to go to great lengths to achieve them. However, the human body does require sufficient rest, so there are times when their abilities fall short. Similarly, some people feel drained or exhausted when they need to respond to Jesus properly. Some people are emotionally oversensitive, always feeling that Jesus will take away their autonomy. But He will never do so. Therefore, they need to properly address the needs of their own lives, including dealing with generational curses and self-contradictory problems, etc., before they can clearly listen to Jesus’ knocking and respond to Him properly.

Those with inconsistency between body and heart need to calm down and feel the contradiction within. We need to ask ourselves whether we delight in the inconsistency or not. If not, we must make our utmost effort to resolve them at the root. Sometimes, we need to trace the causes of our contradictions and confess our sins to God, such as previously indulging ourselves in contradictory or wrong decisions, or accepting others’ contradictions, etc. We need to ask Him to change us, so as to eliminate all contradictions and inconsistencies thoroughly. We must strive to solve our problems and adjust ourselves accordingly so that we are not hindered by secondary issues. Then, we could positively respond to Jesus’ call and finally receive His divine blessings.

Reflection questions:

1) Do you feel you are a contradictory or inconsistent person? If so, how will you rely on the Lord to resolve this?

2) Are you in the habit of always doing what you feel is good in your heart? No matter if it’s yes or no, how do you feel about it?