Day 68, Year 1

Dealing With Double Standards

“Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own eyes.” (Proverbs 26:5 NKJV)

Believers could seek the help of others to break away from foolishness, as today’s verse says, especially those with whom we have close relationships, such as family members, classmates, and coworkers. Fools often live with double standards, e.g., demanding others but treating them perfunctorily. Sometimes, they cannot stand listening to foolish words, yet they speak foolishly. Hence, today’s verse advises us to “answer a fool according to his folly,” so the fools might be stunned or even awakened to reflect on their problems. Of course, this should be done with goodwill.

In my opinion, people could change themselves through positive self-reflection if they have double standards. There are at least several ways to do this. First, pay attention to the words that come out of our mouths yet surprise us. These spontaneous, unthoughtful words, including the so-called “slips of the tongue,” might actually reflect what is within, especially for those who tend to suppress themselves and harbor unbiblical thoughts that have not yet been addressed. When some hidden foolishness surfaces, we could reflect, pray, and understand why those hidden things exist in us, subsequently solving them with God’s truth and wisdom.

Second, pay attention to any unfairness in your interpersonal relationships. We could reflect on whether there is any unfair or unreasonable pattern in our interactions with others before any confrontation. When an incident occurs, we could step back and observe how we engage with people. For example, have we been oppressive or distorted ourselves to accommodate others inappropriately? If so, we have to rely on God to diligently improve and even apologize to others, explain the rationale behind our actions, and resolutely change our way of engagement in the future to ensure God’s righteousness and justice exist in our relationships.

Third, be mindful of how much we are influenced by others heavily and improperly. This means saying things that do not align with our true will or usual thinking because of people around us. If we follow others to speak wisely, this, of course, might not be a problem. But if we are to follow others in speaking foolishly, we should only parrot their foolish words superficially. When we do this without our hearts and spirits being influenced by fools, the influence of foolishness on ourselves could be minimized.

Reflection questions:

1) How difficult do you find it to “answer a fool according to his folly”? If you have any, how would you rely on the Lord to overcome them?

2) Are your relationships with others fair and reasonable? If there is a problem, what might be the root cause, and how would you resolve it with the help of the Lord?

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